Who said anything about easy?

[Aren Haight]

Aren wiped her eyes, though it really didn't help. She hated breaking down in front of people who didn't know her well enough to guess what was wrong, opposite of her best friend, Luna. Kyle, do you remember what your dad looked like? her question seemed to come out of the blue. She hoped it wasn't too personal, but it was the only way she felt like she could explain why she was such a mess today. The injury seemed to have triggered the memories of when she used to get beat up at school but come home saying she was fine when her parents asked her. Lying was such a major role in her life, but she lied for a good reason, didn't she? She couldn't even tell anymore. she only lied to keep others from suffering with her. She didn't want people to have to sympathize for her or anything like that.

Aren fingered the necklace around her neck. It was made of horse hair, and it also had a yellow feather or two from her ducks. The horse hair was from Kaitou and her friend's horse, Stella. The chestnut, cream, and yellow colors didn't exactly blend well together. It was a connection to her animals and her best friend, and it was an object of comfort to her. She was frustrated with herself for not being mentally stronger. She should've been able to stop a mental breakdown by now. Wasn't it supposed to eventually go away? All the stress of her past should've gone away a long time ago. At least, she felt it should've.

[Kyle Smithe]

Kyle let go of Aren, remember what his dad looked like? He only died three years ago, of course he remembered. Kyle tensed and sighed, he looked at her wishing she hadn't asked. He thought back, wondering why on earth she'd ask him that. Yeah... I remember what he looked like. Though I prefer not to remember his face Kyle was avoiding saying much, fearing he'd have his own little breakdown there. Jonathan... How could he forget? That pain would stay with him forever if he forgot, the guilt. He'd eventually resort to what he had before as well, that was something he couldn't handle. Or could He? Kyle hated answering these questions. He thought back to his last statement, the one spoken.

Remembering his face... It went from happy and healthy, to ashen and distraught. The plain look of fear plastered on his father's face forever. Kyle couldn't shake it, he never got over the sight of his father's  body. The haunting dreams following, the terror. Sheer terror plastered on his face. Kyle couldn't shake the image now, his face was pale as he stared blankly at the wall. It was him who should have died, but his father saved him... Moments before the crash, his father buckled the sleeping teen in, taking his eyes off the road for one moment was his major fault. Kyle also had just recently been in another accident, how ironic it was that fate seemed to be trying to kill him?

[Aren Haight]

Aren was about to say that she didn't remember anything about her parents, but chickened out at the last moment. Her breakdown was coming to an end and she was strong enough to bring back up her facade.Oh, well I'm not going to bore you with my messed up past so, uh, just forget I ever said anything. she said. Her past was a touchy subject, and most likely so was Kyle's. She struggled to her feet, only to simply plop back down onto a different area of the couch. She would have loved to get back on Kaitou, but apparentally that was out of the question. She was able to block out all her sadness and the memories that had been flooding into her head. Her eyes were red and puffy, but she had stopped crying.She wiped away the wet trails the tears had left on her cheeks and sighed, relieved she had at least gained control over her mind again.

Aren could tell that she had hit a nerve when she had asked Kyle her question. She could tell by the look on his face as he stared blankly at a wall. The girl had figured him out enough to know that he did that when he was hurt or thinking about something. She was actually a bit embarrassed that she had broken down in front of someone she hardly knew. That never happened. Warning bells went off in the back of her head. She wasn't weakening, was she? The weaker she got, the closer insanity lurked. She swallowed nervously, hoping that wasn't the case. Everything had been so much easier at home, she only had to trust her pets, her friend, and her friend's mom. She didn't need to trust anyone else, so why should she now?

[Kyle Smithe]

Kyle just blinked and crossed his legs, facing Aren and leaning on the arm of the couch. Aren was obviously embarrassed about something. Maybe the fact that she barely knew Kyle and had basically  broken down in front of him. That would make him feel horrible, feeling as though he made the other person worry for needless reason. Kyle sighed. Well... My dad died because of me. He couldn't shake that feeling. If he'd only buckled in before the accident his dad would still be here, and Kyle wouldn't be at this stable feeling worthless. Kyle rested his head on the arm of the couch, staring at the ceiling. His legs kinda hurt being crossed with him leaning back but he ignored it, pain was an inevitable part of life.

Kyle forget she said anything? He was practically hanging on her every word. Kyle wished he could just tell her everything, but that was impossible. It was impossible because, he can't speak like other people. Even her telling him part of her past was a major step he wouldn't dare take. Fear of  falling back into a relapse or whatever term it was they used on recovering drug addicts and alcoholics. Kyle let his arms fall at his sides, he looked pretty weird but he could care less. Aren would answer soon and give him some reason to answer back. Unless it  was another thing he couldn't answer. He shivered lightly, the air conditioning seemed to be set on high, or maybe he was just used to hot weather and fans. Kyle never really cared much for air conditioning.

[Aren Haight]

If it weren't for me my parents would be here and happy, Aren muttered darkly. She didn't know for sure why her parents left her behind, or why they weren't very happy, but she was used to blaming things on herself. She brought her legs up and wrapped her arms around them, her chin rested on her knees. She didn't care if Kyle heard her last statement, she would've said it eventually. She was a little surprised at her sudden change of mood, but then again, she needed a break from her happy carefree facade. It got a little tiring after a bit. Once when she was in Middle School she had overheard some kids talking about her. They had all thought she needed a bit of therapy back when she wasn't as good at pretending to be fine for others. She hadn't gotten mad at them, but she had been convinced that she needed therapy for a few weeks afterwards. Now she wondered if therapy really worked? It didn't sound very convincing, having to tell her life story and all that.

Aren sighed, just now becoming aware of the ever present pain in her side. She let her legs back down in order to ease the pain a little, and she examined the things outside the window. She wanted to be with her horse, regardless of the pain. But she wanted to go there on her own two feet, not be carried like some child. Her mind was engulfed in dark thoughts brought on by her outbreak. They usually came after a breakdown, as they came before one. She wondered if she was going mental? As long as she looked happy, everyone else wouldn't suspect a thing. That was how she usually went along, anyway. Her head throbbed painfully, inside and out. Painkillers sounded mighty good at that moment.

[Kyle Smithe]

Kyle blinked at her last statement. Her fault her parents were unhappy? She obviously didn't know how wrong she was, and he couldn't prove it without telling her what was going on. That would be Kyle's worst nightmare. He shook his head. I can't believe that Aren. Your parents should be lucky to have you. As for me. If my dad hadn't taken his eyes off the road to buckle me in he'd still be here. After that car accident, I was in the hospital for almost a year. Kyle would never let her know how badly that recent accident shook him up. It was minor and it still brought trembles to wrack his body. Kyle hated that too, he'd nearly caused himself to die, and possibly Aren, though thank god her airbag worked.

Kyle sat up right looking at the ground avoiding eye contact. Stars seemed to dance in front of his vision, for no apparent reason. He ignored them shrugging it off as sleep deprivation. Kyle blinked, wondering if Dixie managed to get back to sleep. He'd woken her up late last night with a stupid asthma attack. It hit him so suddenly and he had to rush to get the inhaler from the front room. Kyle really needed to start remembering that thing. Speaking of  that thing, he checked his pockets and smacked himself in the face. Kyle had forgotten his inhaler again, unless the one he left at the stables was still here in the lounge. He got up and checked the cushions, thankfully he found it in a chair across the room. Kyle put it in his pocket and returned to his seat again. god i'm stupid... worthless and stupid. He whispered to himself, hoping Aren wouldn't catch that.

[Aren Haight]

Aren closed her eyes and shook her head. Not true, she said moodily. She rested her head in her hands, enjoying the darkness behind her eyelids. Of course her parents weren't lucky to have had her. If they had been they wouldn't have abandoned her! She automatically tried clenching her hands, but only succeeded in digging her nails into her face. She was angry at herself all over again. She didn't cut herself or anything like that. The dark thoughts usually just ate away at her from the inside until she found some temporary relief, like gymnastics or her pets. She needed to stop having these thoughts, to just forget about her past like she been trying so hard to do for years. But sometimes she just wasn't strong enough to forgive and forget.

Aren sighed and looked up, rubbing the indents her nails had made in her skin. She knew Kyle had whispered something, but didn't know what exactly. She gently touched her sides, only to recoil her hands quickly as if they had been burned. The slightest touch hurt, and she again wished she could slap herself. Why must she ride so dangerously. The girl looked at her bare feet, which were covered in grass stains and bits of dirt. She bit her lip, wishing she had at least wore her tennis shoes today. Her feet were cold, and they felt numb. She moved carefully as she crossed her legs lotus style and practically sat on her feet. They weren't numb now.

[Kyle Smithe]

Kyle was growing frustrated again. He sighed and got up from the couch, not knowing what he wanted to do he started for the door. Aren I still don't believe that, if you want me come find me or something. Unless you still can't walk. Kyle decided to wait to see if she could or not, if she couldn't he'd have to call someone. He wasn't a paramedic or doctor so he couldn't tell her what was wrong Kyle wished it were that simple, it would save alot of time and money not only for her but him as well. Who knows maybe Kyle would go to college? Eight years wasn't that long was it? But then there was Wonder. His  beloved horse that he raised and his father bred. How could he forget about him? Kyle wouldn't be going to college while he still had to take care of Wonder.

Not that it was a bad thing. Kyle enjoyed taking care of his horse, and riding the brilliant beast. It was just, he couldn't just rely on horses for his lifetime career. Kyle couldn't afford to spend more than 5 years in college, he needed something that would be affordable and something he'd be interested in doing. He sighed and tried to push the thoughts out of his head. Kyle shouldn't be worrying about that right now. He leaned on the doorway, waiting for Aren, hoping she'd answer. Again hoping she wouldn't get easily frustrated like him and go off. Not that Kyle would care, he'd just stand there and block out everything. Something he'd learned to do while at home with Mike.

[Aren Haight]

Aren rolled her eyes, if only he knew. She couldn't walk, or else she'd be long gone by no. She sighed, blocked out the chaos in her mind, and plastered a small smile to her face. I can't walk but I'll be fine here, she said, more cheerful than her thoughts were. She wondered if there happened to be any convenient crutches lying around. Riding would help her get back to walking again, like therapy. She uncurled her legs, ready to try and make it to the pasture, or die trying. She would wait until Kyle left, though. She didn't want him to feel obligated to find help for her or anything like that. She could only accept so much help, she was way too stubborn to let someone else take care of her nowadays.

Aren, in order to convince Kyle that she'd be fine, started to braid her long blonde hair. It has bits of grass and dirt stuck to it, but she otherwise had it done in no time. It would be much easier to get down to the pasture now that her hair wouldn't be blowing into her face, or something like that. She tied a hair tie around it and left it on her shoulder. She really wished she had remembered her tennis shoes now, since the path to the pastures was rocky and probably had sharp bits and pieces of things along the way. She looked at her poor feet, almost wishing she didn't have to hurt them so badly.

[Kyle Smithe]

Kyle rolled his eyes. Can't walk but be fine sitting on a couch? How boring, and unlikely. He knew all to well she'd try getting up herself after he left and hurt herself more, Kyle wasn't going to allow that. Aren, do me a favor yeah? Stop trying to fool me. It isn't working, I do it all the time and I can see through it. I also know you don't trust me. He said simply before returning to the couch. Aren being left alone and unable to walk was a stupid idea. Kyle wasn't going to allow her to get hurt especially when it can so easily be prevented. At least she wasn't like him in some ways. The way he dealt with things wasn't the best but then again, neither was her method of coping. Kyle leaned against the back of the couch looking at the ceiling again. That is unless I'm annoying you and you want me to leave. I don't really care whatever floats your boat.

Kyle was in a pissed off mood. Mostly at himself and a little frustrated with Aren. I mean they were supposed to be friends right? And yet she seemed to turn him down for his offer to help her. Kyle couldn't understand it. Not walking was something you needed help with whether you wanted it or not. Kinda like asthma, you either get help or you die. Not this isn't primitive times or anything but still not walking? That was just ludacris. I mean yeah it could be genetic, but after an accident that wasn't normal. Unless you damaged some part of your back that paralyzed you. Kyle made his mind stop wandering and tried to focus on Aren again. It was hard, sorta...  Kyle couldn't really sit still today.

[Aren Haight]

Busted... Aren thought, defeated. No, I do trust you, and no, you're not annoying me. which is the problem, she added to herself silently. She gritted her teeth impatiently. She had issues with sitting still, and she was getting bored. Sometimes she'd wonder if she had ADD or ADHD, like her friend would often joke about with her. Aren needed something to keep her busy, or else her thoughts would tear her apart from the inside. She wanted to get up and walk and get her horse and just ride. She wanted it so much it hurt. Maybe she could walk now that she had sat down and had some rest. It was just bruises, right? Maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't have to sit here all day, so bored she felt like she was going to scream.

Aren gathered up her strength, took a deep breath, and stood up. She held onto the couch so tightly her knuckles were white. She walked slowly and carefully around the couch, though she had to hold onto it the entire time so she wouldn't fall. Her legs trembled, and she was going to collapse any minute, but she kept herself up. See, I'm fine. she said hoarsely. Maybe she should go to the doctor's before riding, though. The girl was close to tears due to the pain, but she kept her face blank as she walked towards the door. She at least was able to block the full force of the pain. Else she would've been down by now. She had proved to herself that wanting something so much could eventually get you it, but only if you worked for it. The wall supported her when she made it past the couch, and she had to lean heavily on it with her outstretched arm.

[Kyle Smithe]

Kyle frowned, Aren wasn't fine. He was getting sick of it, and why stick around if she didn't trust him? Kyle shrugged and just got up walking around Aren toward the door. I guess I wasted my time then didn't I? You can't walk without support i wouldn't be surprised if you injured yourself more than you actually know. But then again I'm not a doctor so what do I know? He opened the door and left, he couldn't handle it anymore. Aren was stubborn and if she didn't trust him she probably never would. Kyle shrugged, if Aren wanted help she could ask for it Kyle could just go back to being quiet and they could pretend like nothing ever happened. Couldn't they?

Kyle sighed and walked toward the stables, there was a small hill before them. He sat at the top of it in the open, underneath the sun. Kyle was watching the pastures, the horses in the distance dancing and grazing. A few younger horses seemed to be interested and partaking in a game of high speed tag. He sighed again plucking strands of grass from the ground. Kyle realized he was a total ass today, and was trying to calm down. If Aren wanted to she could have come out and said something, he wasn't that far from the lounge. Aren... What would he do about her? She doesn't trust me... what can I do? Ask her why? No that's ridiculous. He couldn't make up his mind. Everything was confusing, horses, girls, and life.

[Aren Haight]

Aren sighed. She had to admit, Kyle was being an ass today. He didn't like help, and neither did she. Was that so freaking hard to understand? The thoughts made her blood boil. She channeled her anger and was able to make it out of the lounge. She couldn't keep an arm on the wall now, and she fell down, skinning her knees and the sides of her arms. She winced but got up again. Nothing stopped a determined Aren, that was for sure. She managed to walk a few steps before falling, and the process repeated itself again and again. Her legs were pretty much bleeding heavily now, and she was barely making any process. The girl sat down to rest and snapped. Why is this so hard!? she yelled out of frustration.

Aren got up again, her teeth clenched. She refused to fall down anymore. Walking was so slow, so she began to run. She was driven by anger and frustration, and she couldn't feel her body anymore. She was numb, her body's way of coping with so much pain. She slipped on the rocks and fell down, but immediately got back up again and continued her run. Finally, finally, she made it to the pasture where Kaitou was. She collapsed neatly onto the grass and laid on her side, exhausted. Tears were running down her face when she hadn't even known she was crying. She was breathing heavily, and gradually began to feel her pain, which made the tears flow faster. She could also feel the blood dripping down her legs, and she started to wipe it up with her shirt.

[Kyle Smithe]

Kyle groaned, she looked pathetic. Aren could barely walk, and she was forcing herself to try and run. Did she have a death sentence or something? Kyle got up and followed her, entering the same pasture and picked her up. She was crying again, that was great... Kyle felt  bad for her but she was still trying to do things too fast. It's so damn hard because you wont sit back and accept the fact your hurt. Trying to force yourself to run and then falling down a bunch of times sure as hell isn't helping the injury any. He pulled out a kleenex and wiped her face gently. Kyle might not know first aid, but he knew some of it and then grabbed another one, to put on the blood.

No doubt she needed some antibacterial cream or something. To keep infections out and such, as well as it needed to be cleaned to prevent that as well. Kyle wouldn't care if she slapped him, he deserved it. At least he thought he did. He wasn't even going to say what the site of her running and falling multiple times reminded him of. Kyle hugged Aren again, why was she so insistent on fighting him? Why do you insist on defying what I say? He asked blatantly, though he cared he didn't want her to think differently. Kyle of course liked Aren as a friend... though he might like her more than that. He wished she'd slap him, too bad he couldn't just ask that.

[Aren Haight]

Aren was badly shaken. She was starting to scare herself, and she hated it. She could see Kaitou who was looking at her, concerned. The girl sighed and looked at her shirt, which was spotted with bits of blood. Oh how things had gotten so complicated, she'd never really know. She was startled when she felt someone picking her up, she hadn't seen Kyle following her. Why he was helping her yet again, she didn't know. He was obviously mad at her or something, he made that clear in the lounge. She wasn't good at accepting bad things, especially when she was hurt. It just didn't go well for her to accept those kinds of things. Plus she hated sitting around, waiting for herself to heal enough to actually walk without falling down. The look on Kaitou's face, however, made her just give up on it all. If she was hurting others just by hurting herself, then forget about it. She winced ever so slightly when he touched her legs with the tissue, but was busy wondering why he was being so nice all of a sudden. Bipolar, maybe? She hoped not.

Aren was still breathing heavily, but she wasn't crying anymore. She was tired, and she hurt everywhere. She gave up her need to walk on her own and just decided to accept help for once. She shrugged, having no answer as to why she defied what he said. She liked to be independent, but could never really accept the fact that she needed others to make it through life and all that. She liked to think that things really were that simple. She didn't accept the fact that she could never really forgive and forget easily anymore. Making friends wasn't incredibly easy, either. She had just been lucky she had been there when Kyle had his asthma attack the first time they had met.